Friday, October 14, 2005

The seventh barista

This afternoon, I'll be serving on a seven-member panel of barristers in a semifinal of the Hawsom & Todd intramural moot court competition (I don't know which one, so call off the Dr. Phil jury-consultant guys). I take my barrister ritual blood sacrifice and oath of confidentiality very seriously, so I'll only divulge these five questions that I plan to ask. Evade them at your peril, and I promise you--oh semifinalists who want my vote--that baiting Prof. CrimLaw to ask you a question so he'll run out the clock will not work. I'll just get on the megaphone.

1.) Doesn't petitioner really want to turn back the clock on a woman's right to choose?

2.) What is the most useless comment a barrister's given you this competition...bonus points if you quote someone on this panel.

3.) Don't you think I look good in green? It totally complements my eyes.

4.) If your second point were an extinct amphibian, what would it be and why?

5.) Who do you think "the others" are, and what will happen if no one enters the numbers into the computer every 108 minutes? Bonus rebuttal follow-up: Isn't that new blonde castaway the cute female lead from the cancelled Fox sitcom Titus?

Be ready. I'm sharpening the blade already. And in case you haven't yet, read Marbury v. Madison a couple more times.