Declaration of Intent to Pay Administrative Fees
Listen up, kids, it's time. Tomorrow is the deadline to mail your 'Declaration of Intent to Study Law' form without paying the late-filing fee of $1,254,937.65. Remember to be honest, be exhaustive, and fully report that time you were arrested for defiling a corpse on federally protected wetlands while smoking a "marijuana cigarette" with some imported Cubans (boat people, not cigars) who just sold you a stinger missle from Pakistan. Got it? (Consequently, LARC II, Assignment 6 is finding that crime in the US Code and Shepardizing the most recent prosecution of it.)
And don't worry if you get hauled down to Austin for an accounting of your crimes -- just wink at the Examiners and say the magic words, "do y'all take plastic?" Works every time. My grand plan was to bribe them with booze and season tickets to Rangers games, but the alcohol's too valuable, and the Rangers actually don't suck yet. So, the best I've got is a gift certificate to Old Navy and sweet 'Back to the Future II' backpack/lunchbox kit.
So...mail yo' shit in, and hope the Santa Barbara police department keeps bad records.