Monday, February 05, 2007

Chris Fahrenthold, J.D.

This past Saturday, I graduated from Baylor Law School. I have a law degree. If you know me, you know that this is something I've worked very hard for for a long time, at the very least, the past three years of my life. But if you know me well, you also know that in an exciting past two weeks, this wasn't even the most exciting weekend.

I'm a law school graduate, and I'm leaving for London on my honeymoon tomorrow. Life is very, very good.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Goodbye to Politics

Well, still no word on who the Commencement speaker will be, so I have to assume that there's still time for a coup. While I'm plotting, I'm going to return this space to the substantially retired status it enjoyed before the campaign. After all, I'm leaving for Vermont in two weeks to go become a proper writer. Shouldn't I be leaving such childish pursuits behind in the name of art?

My epitaph will read: "Chris...a proper writer, no really." That's not defensive or anything.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Praying for Unavailability

So, we lost, guys. I did not have the greatest number of votes among the senior class's ballots, though I'm told I was very well represented. Details are not available yet (if they ever will be), since the highest vote-getter will need to be contacted by the Dean to see if he or she is available to speak on February 3, 2007. Wisely, the ensorcelling registrar did not tell me who finished ahead, lest they have an "accident"...

What is clear is that we ran a good campaign, fought hard for what we believed in, and will now pray that the winner declines to speak. If anyone wants to preemptively start getting rid of everyone who was on the list, I very much discourage it. You hear? If anyone started a campaign of nominee cleansing, I would very much frown on it.

An election postmortem will follow, as will my advice to the speaker-elect. Until the new speaker is announced (and our chance for victory is 100% extinguished), I will keep the banner of this site as encouragement for my loyal army of Chrischuns out there. Keep the faith, and always wear clean underwear.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

An announcement tomorrow

...will happen sometime in the afternoon at a law school location TBA. Stay tuned for updates.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Election Journal #7--That's Politics.

Despite the repeated attempts to both figuratively and now literally demonize me, I believe my message of edification-by-awakeness has reached the voters where they are. I know that everyone here at C4CS07 has worked hard for a cause they believe in, and that's practically its own reward, except that it's not.

Which is why I took the liberty of filing with the Chief Elections Officer of Baylor Law School an "Affidavit and Memorandum In Support of My Candidacy for Speaker." Yeah, I really did. It was a five-page document basically outlining my platform and assuring the dean--should I make it to the list that is sent to him--that I would not urinate on anyone or blaspheme. Everything else is fair game, though. It also answered some anticipated objections and makes clear my intention to actually do this thing. I was told by one member of the faculty that a persuasive brief can even change the course of naming a child (and has). We'll now see if my speaking at commencement is more or less important than a child's lifelong appellation. That follows, right?

As we wait for the political process to run its course, for the votes to be counted, and the dean's subsequent decision, I'd like to thank all of the voters and non-voters out there who have lent their support or curiosity to my campaign over the past week. It's amazing how many people are genuinely interested in one post-PC student's living testament to the fact that after 3 years of law school, you can actually have so completely lost it.

Stay tuned for election updates and (eventually) results, and be prepared to congregate at a moment's notice for my tear-jerking, riot-inciting concession speech.

Or, should the unthinkable happen, my tear-jerking, riot-inciting victory speech.

Election Journal #6--Waiting and Seeing

Here I am cowering behind my press secretary, awaiting the results of yesterday's election. Though initial exit polls were promising, it turns out the "fire drill" kept down turnout in heavily Chris-leaning precincts. Whether we take this fight to the next level--contesting the election--depends on what sort of statistical margin we're looking at. Anything less than a landslide for Prof. Evidence, and I'm hiring David Boies. No, wait, who was Bush's attorney in the Florida mess?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Election Journal #5

The day of reckoning is here! All the work we've done--meeting voters, securing endorsements, making our sign, er, signs, er, I mean, whoever did that--comes to fruition at 5:00pm today. Remember to vote (if you can, that is), and imagine your graduation day as you do.

Put yourself there, in the seats of Waco Hall, waiting for the introductions to finish and Dean Toben to tell us all just who's responsible for our attaining this mark of distinction, as well as Baylor's perennially stellar performance on the bar exam (here's a hint--it's not you, it's apparently family in the former, the faculty in the latter).

Then, when all the preliminaries are done, imagine one of your own rising to take the microphone as the Commencement Speaker to give you a message that a "traditional" guest couldn't give. Imagine not being bored to death by exhortations to be ethical (but do be ethical) or defensive justifications of how our much-maligned profession is actually a noble one (it really is, though). Imagine not being spoken to in platitudes by someone too far removed from Practice Court to speak about it with anything other than an it-made-me-a-better-lawyer shtick. Imagine hearing something new (yet insightful), something meant as a genuine expression of one student's well-wishing to another, humbled by the occasion. And, of course, imagine laughing in the satisfying way that crystallizes into a fond memory years down the road.

Imagine the years of emails, phone calls, and google searches you can make checking up to see if I've kept my end of the bargain, if I've made your law school commencement speaker enough of a name so you can drop it if you need to. Imagine a Commencement that will be about you, the graduate, not an election-year stump speech, yet another self-congratulatory exercise in legal profession masturbation, or a predictable--if solid--speech from a professor we've heard speak for years.

Imagine a February 3, 2007, that you're looking forward to for reasons other than just getting your degree.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Election Journal #4

Monday morning finds us here at C4CS07 in the midst of a mad dash to the finish. Team Has-Been has certainly been pulling out all the stops, and my operatives hear and read rumblings of dark accusations levied against both my candidacy and me personally. That's why I think it's time to set the record straight.

I graduated from the University of Southern California in 2003 with a B.A. in Political Science and a minor in Classics. English was not to be found on my degree at all, well, other than "University of Southern California" and "Bachelor of Arts" and stuff. I have never called anyone "cat" who was not a feline, and I have certainly never called Swanburg a cat.

That said, we have all had to battle our own demons in this world, and who are you to pass judgment on my own personal struggle? But inasmuch as I can warrant it, I promise to do my best not to pee on anyone's grandparent at Commencement.

I'm also getting lots of questions that seem to go to my candidacy being some sort of "joke." To answer them all now, no, this is not a joke. This is a chance to make history. This is also a chance for me to say many things to the Class of '07 that I think are worth saying, but that we may not hear from a "traditional" commencement speaker. That I have to mow down the legions of Big Has-Been's minions one-by-one (excepting, of course, my fellow nominee the radiant Ms. Meyer) is just part of my responsibility.

The times, they are a-changin', and the squeaky wheel gathers no moss.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The Announcement Speech

A candidate giving the Stephen Colbert truth salute.

A candidate discussing his vision of a better February 3rd.

A candidate confronting tough questions and his receding hairline.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Election Journal #3

Everything's coming up Millhouse here at C4CS07. This morning, I took the PC room by storm and had a truly wonderful time in a give-and-give with some of the electorate. Pictures commemorating the event will follow. Also, C4CS07 won a victory in the administrative realm, as the registrar (and chief election officer) sent an email specifically apprising voters of their ability to change their vote as late as 5:00pm, Tuesday, December 12th. Cheers to democracy and the rather fetching registrar of Baylor Law School.

Reception to the guts of my stump speech was enthusiastic, and I managed to jujitsu several potential weaknesses into strengths.

"But Chris, what have you done? You haven't accomplished anything yet."

That's the kind of logic that the Has-Been lobby has been throwing around for years. I asked the voters what kind of speaker they would prefer, a stagnating professional who has clearly reached the terminal point of their career, or an ambitious creative visionary who has a distinct incentive to make a name for himself. If elected, I will live every moment with an eye toward making the Class of 2007 proud to say "Chris Fahrenthold was my commencement speaker." Ignore Big Has-Been and cast a vote for a promising future, a vote for Chris.

"But Chris, what wisdom have you acquired to impart?"

See above, for starters. Second, what are "traditional" commencement speeches (and speakers) but a conduit for some mythical "wisdom of the ages." Am I going to believe Theodore Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln any more because they were quoted by a judge or professor, than by a student? I would think not. I also believe this quote-the-sages paradigm is emblematic of sloppy, uncreative, backward-looking Big Has-Been logic. Cast a vote for a fresh take on our collective (and varied) futures, a vote for Chris.

"But Chris, you're so easy on the eyes that I might not be able to concentrate at graduation."

Well, I'll be there anyway, so you would have to control yourself regardless.

"But Chris, what about your youth? You're 23 years old and presumptuous enough to think you have something to say to all of us, our friends and families?"

I will not exploit my opponents' feebleness and elderly fragility for my own political advantage. (The lovely muse and fellow nominee of the Dean's Suite is, of course, excepted from that "wicked burn.")

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Confidential Campaign Communication

Here's an email that I sent to some of the many C4CS07 supporters on my mailing list that I sure hope doesn't fall into any casual readers' hands. I certainly hope none of them decide to come see what it's all about tomorrow morning at 9:05am in the PC room:

This is to let all of y'all know that there will be an official C4CS07 event in Room 234 at 9:05am tomorrow morning. Joanna, if you could come ready to take a picture of the event for the official campaign blog, I'd appreciate it. Stephen, if we could get a sign or too for the backdrop, that would be great. I'll throw something on the ELMO, too. Professor Osler, seeing as you're an official nominee for the same post I seek, I'm afraid I'm going to have to treat you like an opponent and rip your guts out, mixaphorically speaking. But you're welcome to come see the big event.

It should be short, and the schedule looks something like this:

9:05am arrive at Room 234

9:06am Chris will make a tight, witty, insightful observation about the problems in our world with an eye toward East-West relations and how they relate to the insane number of feral cats around the law school, or...he'll announce that he's running for Commencement Speaker, or both.

9:08am Chris will take a few spontaneous questions from planted operatives.

9:09am Chris will pose for pictures with adoring followers.

9:10am Chris and entourage will get the hell out of Dodge before Prof. Powell comes in.

I look forward to working with all of you (except Osler, you're on notice) on the issues that matter to bored commencement attendees everywhere.

Power to the person,

Chris Fahrenthold, President, Vice-President, Treasurer and Cabana Boy of Chris for Commencement Speaker '07

Election Journal #2--It's on like bac-on.

So the nomination list is out, and I have to say, it's going to be a difficult minefield of powerful people, or, to be politically correct, I should say, "persons of power," to negotiate. Tonight's strategy session and marathon speech-vetting catfight should give us a better picture of how we're going to really hit the ground running tomorrow.

My initial thoughts, having seen the electorate and the registrar's emailed ballot:

1.) This is a race that I can actually win.

2.) The nominating committee threw me a curveball with Laura Bush rather than the president. Out goes my script full of "you better study hard in law school or else you'll get stuck in my crack" botched jokes.

3.) The faculty can be easily overcome. They've grown stuffy and complacent. The lovely Meredith of the Dean's Suite is another matter entirely. I'll have to do my best to convince her to recuse herself and endorse me, perhaps with the promise of a cabinet position of some sort.

4.) Congressman Edwards already gave the commencement address five months ago. He won the November congressional election...why would he come back to Waco until 2008?

5.) That leaves Judges Priscilla Owen and Rex Davis. My dirty tricks committee, the water leakage engineers, will be working around the clock to find salacious facts about each. Actually, judges should be the easiest to run against. I can't really play the "but honestly, I swear to God they'll be BORING" card with most of the faculty, but with a judge... Honestly, I swear to God they'll be BORING!

Well, that's all for now, gang. I've gotta go work on my announcement speech for tomorrow. Where will it be? When will it be? No one knows...

Election Journal #1

I want to thank everyone for visiting my portal to the electorate on the worldwide web! This an exciting time for graduating seniors, Baylor, and America in general! My goal here is to provide you all with a running campaign diary from my formation of the commencement speaker exploratory committee to the big day itself. It should be a wild ride, but I thank everyone for helping out, and for you 27-29 people out there who will have a direct say in this election, let me thank you for your vote!

-The committee. Like any good candidate, I'm carefully considering my options regarding a run. It's a huge commitment, running for commencement speaker, and I want to make sure that it's the right thing for me right now. More importantly, I want to make sure it's the right thing for Baylor. That's where my exploratory committee comes in. Because the Harris Poll is unduly weighted in the final Speaker Points tally, there are concerns about style points on the campaign trail. The exploratory committee and I will decide if I really want to take a pandering angle, or do something more highminded, like run as a protest candidate. Whatever my eventual choice regarding a run, I'll be guided by the slogan WWGPCEOCGD--What would Gerald Powell, Chet Edwards, or Chet Garner do?

-The decision. Yep, I've decided, in concert with my exploratory committee, that I'm definitely maybe probably going to run. Tonight I'll be meeting with my consigliere and highrolling donors, mapping out precisely how to make the formal announcement of my candidacy. I'm thinking a speech in the PC room tomorrow morning followed by a few questions from the law school press corps and students. It will be a getting-to-know-me speech aimed at outlining my vision for a February 3, 2007, one that I hope includes all of us. Only then will we fulfill the promise of America, the promise of Baylor, and the promise I made to my therapist when he told me not to call him anymore. Developing...

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Next Step

I start at Bennington College in Bennington, Vermont on January 4th. Phish, Ben & Jerry's, Howard Dean...and a Baylor Law grad. Bennington, home to 700-odd students, is supposedly the model for '86 grad Bret Easton Ellis' "Camden College" in his 1987 novel The Rules of Attraction. It is also suspected of serving as the basis for Donna Tartt's (BA, '86) "Hampden College" from her novel The Secret History. It should be interesting...I'll try not to kill anyone or do too much blow. In January of 2009, I'll have an MFA--a license to teach, to go along with my license to sue. Beware, world.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

(One of) The Last Post(s)

This is the beginning (and the middle) of the end of this space. I've had a good run, and it's about time to hang it up. The only reason I hedge is for closure's sake. I won't pull down the site without doing a graduation post in February--you know, for all of you who love happy endings, or at least endings.

First and foremost, this is a blog that describes the Baylor Law experience as I experienced it. I don't want a personal homepage for the rest of my life, and frankly, I want to be able to put this project to bed with the knowledge that it did what it set out to do. I'm not going to hold on to it because I want to tell people what TV shows I like, what teams I like to root for, or what I think of the President.

That said, I've documented pretty much everything that you could possibly encounter at Baylor Law School. The first quarter, the first year, intramural moot court (competing and barristering), interscholastic moot court, Law League sports, and, of course, Practice Court. The latter is why I particularly stuck around after the first year. No one had ever talked about PC while being in it, and I at least got to do that. So...what else is there to talk about? On-Campus Interviewing is the only real niche, but I'm not going to do that, anyway. In sum, I'm just taking electives for two more quarters, and I can't think of anything more boring than writing about that. Well, maybe writing about independent study units...or Law Day, which I'm going to erronenously take responsibility for bringing to an end for good last April.

What have we covered? It's hard to categorize my law school memories as having highs and lows (or lows and lowers, haha)--rather, I remember them as interesting incidents. Would Your Honor like a brief recitation of the facts?


Tommy and Will getting booted by Prof. CivPro at orientation

The near-mutiny in Contracts II

The Funder's Greatist Hits (covering Prince or answering in Contracts--"I could gut it [a boat] and drag it behind my truck.")

"The Fallen"

The -gates: Mootcourtgate, Ballgate, Promgate

The Softball Championships, particularly the extra-innings win over the Fall '03 starters at the height of Mootcourtgate.

Prof. T&E saying "per stirpes" [rhymes with herpes]...a lot

Plan B...both performances

Chet's valedictory speech, an instant classic

And there are so many more, but those are the ones that just immediately come to mind.

It would be a lie to say that I've enjoyed every moment of this blog. I hate the proclivity for and dangers of anonymous commenting, and at times I felt that I couldn't stray from the computer for more than an hour or so because there would be some sort of libel that would need to be rebutted or at times deleted. I grew to dislike--to a lesser extent than I ever expected to, honestly--the near constant expectation of my readers to produce...and not just produce, but produce funny, insightful stuff. I set the bar at 2-3 posts a day in my first quarter, and that level of production could go nowhere but down. Y'all told me about it when it did.

But I only mention these sour notes because even in them I derived some pleasure from the blog. It meant I was being talked about, discussed, read, and passed on to friends, parents and faculty. And that was fun, a lot of fun.

I remember thinking it would be cool to have a 1,000 hits some day. I have over 200,000 now. Not only does that qualify for Hungarian bridge-naming status, but it's a sign that the Baylor Law School experience is something that means a great deal to the Baylor Law School community. Nostalgia, schadenfreude, curiosity. These (and my indefatigable work ethic and sparkling wit, of course) kept readers reading and me writing.

When I started law school in the Spring of 2004, there were two Baylor blogs that I knew of, and neither was a "law blog" of the chronicle variety. Jim Dedman (of Dedman memo fame) was already in practice in Beaumont, and Jed Dorman shared a blog with a Wisconsin political blogger. I filled a void, and before long, I was "that guy with the blog."

Then this space became a sort of de facto school newspaper, which was both a blessing and a curse. Emails would come in from SBA even, asking me to pimp their latest event. (They let my band play at their events, so I suppose it was a symbiotic relationship.) The comments section to my blog became a messageboard from which people would sell laptops, try to incite rebellion, and of course, hurl invective. But I was being talked about, and in my world, that's not a bad thing.

It's that de facto newspaper designation that I think I've enjoyed most. Through respectful accounts of class and the faculty I gained the credibility to criticize what I thought most worthy of criticism about Baylor. Promgate was the toughest test of my plebeian street cred to decry what I like to delicately refer to as "bullshit" in law students and yet rail against the ridiculous arbitrariness of an out-of-touch administration run amok. I couldn't have covered Promgate without the two years that came before it.

I mention Promgate because as far as coverage of law school happenings goes, everything after it will taste of anticlimax. Similarly, after Practice Court, covering class will be bland. I am a 2L again, a 2L with more knowledge of Texas Procedure and Evidence than he knows what to do with.

A lot has happened since I started this blog. Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfuction, President Reagan died, and the Red Sox won a world series. But more important to me, a good friend of mine--and a faithful reader of this space--was diagnosed with, treated for, and to date beating cancer. That I was able to give him something to laugh at--and let he and his wife know what their daughter was going through in law school--makes me almost feel like this has been an important enterprise.

In the next several weeks, I will be busy writing a moot court brief and finalizing MFA applications. In the next several months, I hope to work hard again on the novel I had to shelve during Practice Court. While I hope none of those monopolize my free time or creativity, I don't want to keep this blog without an aim and without care. I've cared too much about it for too long to let it slide into, um, whatever, for it to start to suck. That's what I mean.

And so, to hopefully help fill the void in your daily time-wasting, I've replaced my links on the right with every Baylor Law School blog that I know about. It is a list that I will update as needed. Some I read, some I think suck. But none of them have had what we have, blog. What's that, blog? Are they playing our song?

Goodbye, everyone. It's been fun.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I think my dog has one now

If you have or know of a Baylor Law School blog, please email me with the url--whether the blogger wants to be outed or not. A compendium of the multitude of Baylor blogs needs making and will be forthcoming.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Welcome to Baylor

There's nothing like the adorable mayhem of the first-years milling about outside the 120s on their first day of class.

And how awesome is the first-day assignment for Professional Responsibility? Truly, Prof. Crim. Prac. has jumped off the deep end, and I love it. At Baylor, we teach the gentle art of being a lawyer.

I'm now in that great middle of law students again, those people who aren't in their first year or currently in Practice Court. Everything other than those is fairly boring to talk about. Therefore, look for my weekly "Sucks to be you" column directed toward those PC kids.

As for the first-year students, we now only have Prof. CivPro, Prof. CrimLaw/Pro and Prof. LARC III in common. It's a new world, and I'm just out of touch. So wonderfully, comfortably out of touch.

Welcome to Baylor.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

They're all seats of doom

I may or may not do a bigger post containing my advice for PC students who enter the dungeon on Monday (as I don't want to rob you of the wonderful mysteries of the experience and frankly, you're already hearing tons of advice, most of which is rubbish), but I do have a matter that is rather dear to my heart to discuss.

Yes, a large part of PC travails is mental. [Incidentally, although "is" agrees with "part" in number, it sounds awkward and so actually, in English it is allowable to have the verb agree with "travails," in which case it would read "travails are mental." But, as something of a conjugational purist, I've decided to sacrifice euphony for accuracy.] However, there is nothing to be gained from seeking, bragging about, or pining over one's seat in the PC room.

Every piece of conventional wisdom about where to sit was proven wrong when I was in Practice Court last quarter. Yes, Prof. Evidence does cite the names of the people in the front row in hypotheticals, but you know what? He calls on them to answer substantive questions, too. He also uses a number of other people as hypothetical namesakes as well. The front row is not, therefore, desirable because it provides immunity. One myth debunked.

There was no discernible blind spot in either Prof. PC's or Prof. Evidence's calling-on habits. In fact, Prof. PC made certain to call on everyone on the seating chart. There is no part of the room that is a particular hot spot. If anything, there are certain people who become hot spots themselves, and then those surrounding them are privy to Socratic shrapnel. Unsurprisingly, my row (myself, DB, BR) became one of those impromptu shooting galleries. Then, once you unintentionally coin a catch-phrase in Evidence, the same can happen. That said, twenty bucks to the PC student who name-checks me on "semantic cloak" whenever possible.

The one reason I won't say everyone who's been peddling this pre-PC ridiculousness is full of shit is that perhaps these precepts were true of an Underwood-taught PC class. But, that era is over now, and Wren and Powell have no such tics or tricks--or at least they didn't in the Spring-Summer 2006 season. There is absolutely no reason to worry yourself over where you will sit on Monday morning. There is absolutely no point in getting to the PC room at ass o'clock in the morning just to get some magic seat that will spare you, or to avoid some mythical seat of doom. They're all seats of doom.

If there is a place you feel most comfortable, by all means, try to sit there. You will be spending a lot of time in your seat. Being on a particular side may be important to you--I know I prefer a general portion of the classroom, but only because of habit. But don't waste time worrying about the consequences of your seat location (and especially don't be an ass about it when you get there). You will have far more to worry about.

Or maybe I'm in on the conspiracy to keep the perfect seat hidden...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Just read the headnotes, I dare you

So I just got back into town (from Portland, OR and then Rockport, TX) and made my first trip back up to the law school. Is there any more heartwarming sight to a post-PC law student than 3Ls running around the library tracking down and printing out materials for the first week of class? If there is, I can't imagine it right now. Okay, that's not true--a paraplegic puppy playing for the Dodgers throwing doubleheader nohitters against the Giants and the, while a Palestinian boy and Israeli girl sit in the stands sharing an ice cream cone.

But, short of that, I'll have to get my heartwarming in a schadenfreude hue. The schadenest freude I can find. But don't worry, guys, I've got a tough quarter lined up for myself: avenging my team's loss in the final round of the National Criminal Procedure Moot Court Tournament; Family Law, Patent Law, and Civil Liberties; oh, and I'll be reprising Federal Courts, this time as The Professor's Assistant Who Sits In On The Classes And Smiles At The Hypos He Now Knows The Answers To (And Hopefully Convinces The Professor To Give Him A Discussion Section Or Hold Class Out On The Quad Like He's Back In College Taking A Seminar On Deconstructionism And the Modern Novel Or Something Like That Because What He Really Wanted To Do Was Be A T.A. Grad Student). Add to that passing my researching-and-writing self around the third floor like I'm a sophomore girl trying to fill a self-esteem void, and I've got a pretty busy quarter.

But not nearly as busy as yours, PC students. Hehe.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Back from Oregon next week

Just so you know.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I'm done

See you in September. Yeah, school starts in August, but I'll roll up around Labor Day. I'm post-PC, so I'll do what I want.


I'll be at the Baylor Law School Summer Commencement Exercises on July 29th, so don't think if I haven't said "so long" it's because I hate you. If I don't say "so long" next Saturday, though, it is because I hate you.

Here's a preemptive (and as per Baylor, provisional) "Congratulations!" to all of my classmates graduating next weekend, and a hearty "Good Luck!!" to all of the same who are taking the bar exam next week.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

One more left

I believe it was our Lord who said "man shall not live on professor-posted Products Liability slides alone." I'm about to try to prove Him wrong when I roll up for my final final of the quarter on Thursday. Let's just say that while my attendance record was worse in Conflicts of Laws and Securities Regulation, it wasn't worse by much.

That said, I feel empowered by my PC-ness, as evidenced by the bitch-slapping I gave the Appellate Procedure exam. Here's a memo to those of you who haven't yet taken that one-unit wonder (I mean course hours, not like Lance Armstrong):

Everyone in PC II (or who is post-PC) should take this gift of a class, er, I mean this Practice Court seminar in preservation of error. Take it, that is, if you need one unit. Along those lines, I would advise against taking it if you haven't had PC yet. I can't imagine trying to wrap your head around what a restricted appeal is if you haven't had PC yet.

Just some advice from a guy who hasn't gotten his grade back yet.

Hmmm...maybe you'll want to wait on that, first.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Manning your Damus

Apparently the Appellate Procedure final is an open-book affair, which means you can bring in the Rules of Civil Procedure, the Rules of Appellate Procedure, the course supplement, as well as the third Harry Potter book.

My esteemed PC partner found out it was open-book when he rolled up to the exam several quarters ago sans book. And then he churned out an exam that had Prof. Appellate thinking he was the second coming of Justice Calvert himself. You see, kids, that's a funny legal-insufficiency-review inside joke. Damn, I love law school.

So anyway, I've got this test thing tomorrow at 8am. After that, I have to pick up my final exam/project in Equal Protection & Voting Rights on Tuesday, and then take a final in Torts II-and-a-little-bit-of-PC (er, I mean Products Liability) on Thursday. Then, I'm outta here 'til late August.

Friday, July 14, 2006

PC redux

Good luck tomorrow, everyone. And how much does it suck for bar exam takers to get to go straight from the PC II final back to their carrels sans a nice 'rita buzz? A lot.

For the record, I'm not taking the bar in July. So you might see me at the bar by 10am tomorrow.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Everyone but Forrest Gump

There's a space on the left next to Professor Powell that's just begging for someone to be photoshopped in. Since I actually appear in the picture, I suggest the following candidates for digital addition:

1.) President Bush
2.) Professor McConnico, to start a tradition
3.) Genghis Khan
4.) Another picture of me
5.) A preggers Heidi Klum
6.) Speed Racer

Or perhaps that space was just vacated by the PC assistant who is actually taking the picture. Still, if someone wants to add someone funny and send it to me, I'll post it.

Now I'm wondering who we can fit in the hole on the right side, second and third rows...